Fast Forward
by eilatansayah
Summary: It's been twenty five years since the events in motionless and Jackson is being interviewed.


This is in cannon with my other story 'Motionless'. Its 25 years later and Jackson is being interviewed, the piece is written as if it is an article in a newspaper. I hope you enjoy and I would really appreciate some feedback about the style.

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**April 12****th**** 2036**

**The House of Commons are debating the assisted suicide issue this week and everyone has very strong opinions on it. Here we speak to Jackson Walsh who believes the outcome should be 'no' for very personal reasons.**

In the UK it seems we've reached a consensus that a person with a terminal illness who is in a lot of pain has the right to assisted suicide. This week it is expected that parliament will pass this law however there is still a large grey area being debated – should people who are able minded (without mental disability)and yet seriously physically disabled also have the right to die?

With us sits Jackson Walsh, a 48 year old Man from Yorkshire with a PHD, he teaches English at degree level and his work is published. He is also paralysed from the neck down and attempted suicide, "I was feeling lower than I'd ever thought possible and I was incredible angry," explains Jackson, "I couldn't see how things could get any better and I wanted out." He was involved in an incident in which his van upturned onto train tracks at a level crossing, a train then crashed into the van which left Jackson who was 23 at the time in a coma, upon waking Doctors told him he'd never feel or move his body again. His condition meant that he couldn't kill himself alone and 9 months after the accident he managed to convince his boyfriend to help him, luckily he was found something which Jackson says he's never felt more grateful for. "At the time I thought it was the worst possible outcome, I blamed my boyfriend for messing up and hated the man who found me with a passion, if a law that allowed this was passed back then I would have taken it, it was more than I'd ever wanted in the world."

For Jackson and many others in similar condition the first years are the hardest and coping is extremely difficult, studies show that this period of adjustment is when a person is most vulnerable and when the desire to end one's life the strongest. Jackson feels that to allow able minded people to make this decision is a big mistake; he says "The human instinct is to survive, it's why we evolve and it is at the very core of all life. For a person to make that deliberate decision to go against that instinct is due to depression and what's important is they receive rehabilitation not a final solution." This is what Jackson was offered; he spent 2 months in a London hospital receiving intense counselling, they also got him on track career wise, "If it wasn't for my time there I wouldn't have realised I could have the career I have now, before the accident I was a builder, I loved my job and had never considered doing anything else, I certainly felt that academia was out of my reach."

He believes that whilst a severe disability like his is difficult it also opens new opportunities and experiences, "What I've learnt is it's your consciousness and emotions that are at the core of your experiences and that's what it means to be human, not weather you can pick up a cup – I've got careers to do that!" Jackson currently has two careers that alternate working with him and he lives with his partner, this is the same one that tried to help him end his life, "my biggest regret is putting my partner through it, he had a break down from the emotional stress and he was hospitalised for a short time, it quickly made me wake up to my selfishness." Doctors probably wouldn't agree that Jackson was being selfish and even he admits there's more to it than that. Depression is after all a mental illness and during mental illnesses awareness of your actions is not always available and for those families dealing with this situation it's important for them to recognise the illness exists rather than simply a will to die, "The truth is that no one wants to lose loved ones and the government shouldn't even consider putting them in a situation where they have to deal with those consequences – in _every_ instance treatment should always be offered and never anything else."

Looking at Jackson it's easy to see how happy he is but he's the first to admit it's not been easy and says at times he hasn't wanted to get out of bed. He says he's also very lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends and family, especially is partner Aaron who was only 18 when he had the accident. Between Aaron being so young and how he struggled with the suicide aftermath (he was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome and spent 6 months in a psychiatric ward) there wasn't exactly a recipe for a long term relationship and yet there together now, "We did end the relationship a couple of years in to it, having mutually agreed that Aaron was too young to settle down and I was really focused on my career," surprisingly for Jackson he had another relationship soon after, "it lasted two years and was a shock when I realised the guy was interested, I could understand Aaron being with me because we were together before the accident but not him and yet he was," which just goes to show that people in a similar situation are just as able to live their lives as any abled bodied person. It turns out though that Jackson was the love of Aaron's life and vise versa, they got back together four years after breaking up, have lived together since and had a civil ceremony back in 2022. Jackson's disability means their unable to have a physical relationship and when asked if Jackson thought Aaron missed out on anything he rapidly shakes his head, "there was a time that I would obsess over it and fretted to the point that we separated several times, but Aaron's his own person now and I know he'd never be with me for any reason other than wanting to be."

Sitting here chatting to a person like Jackson with everything he's achieved and his wonderful sunny disposition it's difficult to comprehend that MP's are even considering including this in the assisted suicide bill – let alone debating it and there's a strong feeling that maybe they haven't done enough research otherwise it wouldn't even come up, when asked this Jackson nods sombrely, "I would invite them to come and have a chat with me and my family to really comprehend the reality this question poses before to many potential filled lives are ruined and I don't just mean those that wish to die."

Written by

N Hayes


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